Duke LaCrosse-The Gift That Keeps On Giving

To follow-up on my previous blog on the Duke Lacrosse team--you would think that we have heard everything there is to know about this case by now--but no.

The latest 60 Minutes program featured the parents of the three boys accused in the case. From this interview we hear that the DA knew 7 days before formal charges were made that there was no DNA evidence found linking the three boys charged in this case. The DA was informed of this information by the guy in charge of the lab where the evidence was analyzed. But it doesn't stop here. The guy from the lab did not indicate in his original report that there were additional stains found that are still unidentified as of yet. Can you see the problems here if you were the administrator overseeing all of this?

So now we have a DA who knew the DNA found was not linked to the boys charged and a lab guy that did not tell him about the other unknown stains. Wow! These two guys have their own ethical problems and possibly civil and criminal problems to face as time goes by.

But then on the 60 minutes program come the parents of these three boys. "Every mother of a son should be scared to death," exclaimed one of the mothers as she connected her statement to the DA taking the word of a stripper over the evidence. These parents made it clear that they are mad at the DA, mad at Duke University and mad at the President of Duke-Richard Brodhead--BUT here's my problem..why are they NOT mad as hell at the actions of their own sons? Their sons CHOSE to be at a day long, underage drinking party where strippers were hired!

When Lesley Stahl tried to get a response from them about their own son's choice to be at this party, one of the father's said "it was a mistake" and quickly used the word BUT right after that. I always inform people that everything after the word BUT is always followed up with an excuse from personal responsibility.

There isn’t one amongst us who hasn’t said or done something and moments later said “What a dumb, stupid thing to say or do!” We’ve all made our share of poor choices. That’s why we have flat foreheads! And many of us know others that have made even worse choices than the ones we have made. But, don’t fall into the trap of condoning the excuse of "I'm not so bad, there are others that are worse.” People of good character choose not to adopt other people’s worst behavior as a standard or norm. This mentality diminishes a person’s responsibility for being ethical and moral.

If my son Christopher was involved in this, my wife and I would have made it clear to Leslie Stahl and everyone that we're frustrated with the DA for the very same reasons they are. I'm with these parents on this one. BUT, they as parents are missing a golden opportunity to teach to everyone in this country that they should also state that they are mad as hell at their own son for not only attending this party but staying at this party knowing that strippers were there. Nothing good comes from this combination and they should have had the sense to seeit and leave. What does that decision to stay say about their son? I know that it would say a lot about Christopher to Carol and myself. And I wouldn't be mad at Duke for doing what they did with the information they had. The information that they had was that 47 players on the team attended a party that involved drinking and strippers and that a sexual assault had occurred. If Duke chose to do nothing about this and my son were on the team, I'd pull my son from the team and let Duke know that since they are giving the direct and indirect message that this behavior is tolerated that the next brochure that comes out on Duke LaCrosse ought to have photos of the party splashed all over them as a recruiting tool. And if this is to be tolerated, I say we teach it to other programs around the country and see if this raises the bar for good character or lowers it. Give me a break!

Don't forget what I have said before in this case, "Don't raise your daughters to be strippers and don't raise your sons to hire strippers!"

Comments

[Chuck Gallagher]

How often have I said in presentations around the country, "Every choice has a consequence! It is an inescapable truth...just like gravity." Yet, it seems like daily we are bombarded with media rich coverage about bad choices and the consequences that follow. The Duke lacrosse fiasco and Mike Nifong's prosecution is but another example. The question now is not what happened - that has been well documented, but how could someone expect to make so many wrong and unethical decisions and expect to get by or go undetected?

Nifong resigned, has been disbarred, and now is facing criminal the possibility of criminal contempt of court. Attorneys for the Duke lacrosse players wrote that Nifong's misconduct "shocks the conscience and defies any notion of accident or negligence." The consequence of a conviction of criminal contempt of court could land Nifong in prison.

Let me first say, as an Ethics Keynote Speaker, I have no personal connection with this case or any of the parties therein. Therefore, the comments made here are not in judgement of the people or of their alleged crimes - that's for the judicial system to handle. Rather, there seems to be a common thread that runs through issues like this and having been there myself, I understand clearly how choices can be made that can have disastrous consequences. Perhaps if they are exposed - others may consider more carefully their choices before reaping the consequences that follow.

It has been said that Nifong's judgement might have been blurred by political ambition. I suppose it could be argued that Nifong's political career could be catapulted forward with a high profile conviction in this case. Suppose that the Duke lacrosse students had, in fact, raped an African American stripper - imagine the headlines following a conviction. Nifong would have brought to justice those wealthy Caucasian boys who, assuming they were above the law with their wealth and privilege, harmed in a violent way those who were underprivileged and disenfranchised. Headlines like that would get one votes. And votes gets one power in the political machine.

The problem is - it wasn't true. Certainly the Duke lacrosse students may be judged guilty of poor judgement. But, college students often do dumb things. Judgement aside, they did not break the law. And no matter what was said, in this case the truth was exposed. Choices and consequences.

There is a pattern to unethical behavior and Nifong seems to fit it perfectly.

NEED. Nifong seemed to have a need - political ambition. For the record let me state, I don't know for sure the need - what I do know is that one does not generally participate in unethical behavior unless they have a need first - otherwise, there would be no reason to make the choice.

OPPORTUNITY. The second component of the triangle is an opportunity to meet or advance the need. Before the Duke lacrosse case landed on Nifong's desk - I would almost bet that this well respected Durham, NC District Attorney had no intention of doing anything that would get him disbarred. In fact, likely he would have been a champion of ethics fighting those who exhibited unethical behavior. Yet, if the speculation is true - political ambition was a strong need - then the Duke case could be just the case that would propel this ambitious District Attorney to the next level. What can be more powerful in the political arena than fighting for the rights of the weak and downtrodden.

RATIONALIZATION. The third component that made this case such a "perfect storm" was Nifong's apparent ability to rationalize his behavior. The reported facts seem to support that there was no real opportunity here. Reality seemed to be that the "weak and downtrodden" stripper was seeking an opportunity to make some money off of a bad situation. Nifong didn't have a case and, from his comments at his ethics trial, he knew that. Yet, somehow his need and this apparent "golden opportunity" triggered an internal ability for Nifong to rationalize his behavior.

This third component sealed his unethical choice and set the wheels in motion for the consequences that followed. Had he stopped early on with the prosecution the consequences would have been less severe - in fact, his career likely would have been saved. But, like many who make unethical judgements - I know as I have been there - we often continue to make them rationalizing that eventually they will have the desired outcome or at worst they will go undetected. That is fantasy.

All choices have consequences - either positive or negative. That my friends is an inescapable truth. I am sympathetic to Mr. Nifong as I have experienced much of what he is going through. The pain is very real and the consequences he will face have just begun. The effects or consequences of our choices can be seared into our beings for the rest of our lives.

[Matt]

The point in this case is that everyone asssumed guilt and acted accordingly. Had everyone taken a more cautious approach, like suspending the students from the team pending a full investigation, the whole situtation might have ended without injuring those young men's reputations. If the DA was not in an election year, if Sharpton isn't the convicted liar that he is (see the Tawana Brawley case), if the "stripper" didn't lie (for whatever reason), this case might have gone nowhere fast.

[Joe]

"Don't raise you sons to hire strippers." Well said! I was in a long argument with a lady at a party a few months back about this very point. She was country club type who took the side of the lacrosse boys. I just have a hard time feeling sorry for the rich frat boys. Did they want sex from strippers? Does a bear **** in the woods? The girls were not there merely to dance. The drinking was illegal. What they paid the girls for was illegal. And yet they are innocent victims?