It's absolutely amazing how many people come up to me after talks or email me following one and describe to me the "jerks" they are either living or working with. They ask me for suggestions as to how to deal with these jerks and then get a little bit upset with me when I suggest to them that the problem is with them. Say what? You heard me. I believe that the problem is with them! It's not the jerks "out there," that have the problem, it's how "you choose to think."
If you step back with me and rethink this one you will begin to understand that you never really have a business problem, relationship problem, job problem or a health problem. What you really have is a problem with how you choose to think. It is your thinking that really gets you into trouble and not what happens to you from “out there.” And when you get your thinking together you will then get your words together and then your actions together.
Here’s my suggestion. Understand and accept that “the world is filled with a boatload of jerks.” We can't get rid of them. And quite frankly, I don't want to get rid of them. The reason is that they give me such great material to write and speak about! So since we can't get rid of them, you just make a commitment to not be one of them.
Here’s a fact--You may meet some jerks in the form of employees, managers, owners, girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, wives, acquaintances, and maybe even some of your own relatives. You might even observe some “jerks” in leadership positions in business, sports, government as well as other areas. They are all around us. Don’t dislike jerks. In fact, love them! That’s right, love jerks. You go out and teach everyone to love jerks. Why? Because jerks are a wonderful learning opportunity for all of us. Jerks always teach us how “not” to think, act and feel.
Here’s the beautiful aspect of jerks--you don’t have to take extra credit classes, attend workshops, read books, or anything else to learn from them. Just go out and watch and listen to what they say or do. Pay close attention to what they say and do. Find the business leaders that cook the books to make their company look good. Find the manager who is a jerk to everyone in the company. Find the person who cheats on their spouse. Find the coach that throws chairs, swears at their team, cheats to win, berates officials, and is physically and verbally abusive to players. Find the athletes who use tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs. Find the people that are vulgar and obnoxious. Within a short period of time, you will be able to see and hear for yourself what makes these people a jerk to you and to the others around them.
The key is to go beyond just identifying jerks and the choices they make. To go beyond where most people are, the key is to watch these jerks, listen to them and make a commitment to do the complete opposite of what you hear them say or do. This is exactly what great leaders do. This is exactly what successful people do. They use every one of these people who act in “jerky” ways as a wonderful opportunity to help themselves as well as others identify the particular behaviors that don’t match up with success, ethics and integrity.
Who do you know who acts in “jerky” ways? Can you use them as great examples for you to benefit from personally? Can they become great teachers to others of “how not to be?”
The world is filled with a lot of things, most not really necessary mentioning.
Posted by: drug free rehab | September 27, 2007 at 08:31 AM